onsdag den nionde januari

i must be having pms, cuz i feel like shit and i am fucking cranky as hell. it doesn't help that what i was hoping for in new hampshire's primary didn't happen. hillary clinton pisses me off. she acts like she is the only one of the dems who has experience, and that obama is just a naive dreamer. he really needs to stand up to her shit, not by putting her down, but by putting himself up, and making it more clear to folks what experience he has and what it means, and what he wants to facilitate as president...cuz he's being cast as the empty vessel of change, and that folks are only interested in him because he talks about change, and he is a good speaker, and voting for him assuages some white folks' guilt. like, some folks are complaining that the media is biased towards him, but i actually think they might be biased against him. sure, he gets lots of attention, but not for his content. the press is like, "ooooh, look at this guy who wants change and is inspirational. oooooh, look at this black man running for president." they don't focus on WHO he is and who he's been and who he might be. it fucking pisses me off. i think he needs to keep playing a positive role in the race, as he's been doing, not taking part in all sorts of mudslinging as some of the others have been. he has to counter the media and other candidates who are trying to dis him, covertly and overtly, simply by shining even brighter and talking more about the things he possesses that are strengths and visions and plans for this country and its people. i also want his campaign and the u.s. secret service to take his safety VERY, VERY seriously. there are a lot of crazy, crazy, overt, violent white supremacists in this country who would try to do ANYTHING to keep this man from becoming president. i do not want him to be another king, another jfk, or another rfk with bullets ending his life. i want him to be safe. his campaign and the government can't be TOO damn careful about this. yeah, i see covert racism (e.g. the media's mentality of "oooooh, a black man running for president, and he's not just a loony with no chance of winning") and overt racism (the fact that he needs a lot of protection against bigoted basketcases). this country is not color-blind. it's very much obsessed with race. so get the fuck over yourselves, people, and ask yourselves who the hell is going to bring this country onto a positive path into the future. develop and use your critical thinking skills! please don't display to the world, once again, how stupid too many americans can be in choosing the president of their country. do your homework. don't just jump on bandwagons because of what so-and-so says or thinks. listen for yourself and think for yourself. do research! do your homework, people!!!

i am back at my internship, and already, my 17-year-old client has me forming stomach ulcers. i don't wanna talk about it. i am counting the days, weeks, and months until this internship is over. i am NOT going to be a social worker in foster care when i graduate, and next year's internship had better be in a school or an after-school program.

yeah, i am feeling really, really bitchy. it does not help that i have NO money to my name and won't get my student loans until late january. i have no way to pay my rent or my bills or buy more food or pay for metrocards. nothing. jack shit.

okay, i am gonna go back to reading my book. i am reading the golden compass. this is what's keeping me from going bananas right now. when i get my student loans, i am going to buy the other two books in the trilogy, too. and some rugs.

my friend in chicago is moving back in less than a month, though. this makes me very happy, and i pray and pray that she gets an awesome job!!! she might move into my sister's lair when my sister moves out later this year. yay, we could be neighbors!

bye.