lördag den tjugotredje februari

update on boy:

i was too scared to approach him this past wednesday. the first time i saw him was at lunchtime. i was talking to a friend, and he was standing near me talking to a group he's doing a project with. i could see out of the corner of my eye that he kept looking at me and being distracted from his group by what i was saying to my friend. i pretended not to notice he was there.

second time i saw him on wednesday was in class. he has to walk right in front of me to get to his seat. as he walked by me, he looked at me shyly and smiled. i looked at him shyly and smiled back. during the class break, he ran out to get coffee. at the end of class, he was stalling on leaving the room. maybe he was hoping i'd come talk to him. i freaked out and left the room. i went out into the hall and checked my mail. once i knew he was by the elevators, i started walking towards them. he looked my way, turned, and went up the stairs!

a few minutes later, i am outside and notice he's out there, too. i pretend not to see him. i look into the lobby through the glass windows from outside. i am waiting for a friend. i am also on the phone. i can see through the reflection in the glass that he notices me standing there and his eyes get as wide as saucers and he freezes. i internally freak out and am all talking on the phone pretending to look in the window. he then comes walking really fast past me into the building.

on thursday, the only time i see him is after classes in the computer lab. he's sitting there at a computer. the lab has lots of empty seats. i choose the one right next to him. i come up and say, "hi" to him and he glances up at me and mumbles a hello. he looks freaked out. i sit down and don't try to talk more to him cuz he seems freaked out and nervous, but i sit there doing my stuff, trying to be calm and send off warm vibes, and i also chat with a few friends across the lab from me. when i get up to go print stuff out, he gets up from his seat and walks out of the lab very quickly. he forgets to sign out of his computer, even.

this morning, i sent him a gift on the social networking site that i messaged him on and that he invited me to be friends on. i am trying to thaw him out. it seems like he is perhaps crushing hard on me and doesn't know what to do with himself around me. well, i am a very nice person, and he has no reason to fear me. i realize i have no reason to fear him, either. he's just a person too, albeit very, very, very cute. so, i am feeling much less scared now that i know he's scared too (even more scared than i am). so i hope to thaw him out some more this coming wednesday. maybe i will get him to have a conversation with me. :)

i am really, really, really NOT used to boys crushing on me and being intimidated by me or shy around me, etc. it has rarely happened to me. it's weird, quite frankly. like, he's soooo shy around me!!! well, my agenda for the coming weeks regarding this boy is to be very kind, friendly, and warm. i will also try to make somewhat of an ass out of myself and try to make him laugh in order for him to feel more comfortable around me.

i can't wait to see him on wednesday.