han är så gay!!!

update on the boy: mr. exmo hasn't dated a girl for six years. yeah, so mr. exmo is pretty much all about boys nowadays. that's okay. i just wanna be his friend. he's such a cool guy! anyway, i feel like a freshman in college again: a silly girl crushing on gay boys. yeah, i feel let down, but i'm quickly getting over it. he's such a nice boy. i'd be depressed if we couldn't be friends. i dunno if he wants to be friends outside of work. i'll lay off and let him do the work on that; he already knows i truly want to be his friend. so, now i am hoping that i can meet a boy who isn't far away, isn't mildly autistic, and isn't gay. is that too much to ask? no, i found it in alex. i know it's possible; it's just hard to find. alex was a very cool straight boy. they do exist. they seem to be an endangered species, but they are not extinct. :) i have to keep the faith that there is a straight or bi boy out there for me.

i'm not gonna see the firefighter anymore. he's flaked on me one too many times. he calls and wants to make a date. then i respond and don't hear back from him. this has happened several times. the last time he called me and left a message (which was on monday), i didn't respond. i don't feel as hormonal at this point anyway. for a few months there, i was a total hornball, but it has died down somewhat. i hope to be able to abstain until i find someone to date.

other news: i called the ob-gyn office about the $3,000 medical bill. they said they normally allow 3 months to pay it off. i told them i could not do that. they are gonna call me tomorrow and maybe give me 6 months to pay it off. i still cannot do that. i will tell them that. i will pay off what i can every month (which won't be much). this may ruin my spotless credit score. what else can i do?

more news: i have now finished two of the modern african novels i've been rereading. i will begin another one in the morning. hmmm...maybe i'll try "god's bits of wood". reading two buchi emecheta books in a row has made me unable to deal with another intense novel about mothers going through hell, at least for the time being. yeah, reading good books is good for my brain. :) i can appreciate these books more than i could 10 years ago when i took the modern african literature course.

last news: i am hungry, and i am gonna make some bowtie pasta with marinara sauce, capers, olives and parmesan. yeah, i have lapsed on the vegan thing. my consumption of dairy and eggs is very minimal, but it exists. and you know what? it makes me NO less committed to animals than if i were a textbook strict vegan.