hose me down

i wanna be reborn through a well of water gushing out. i wish i could start from scratch with my body. erase all abuse it's taken, both from me and the world i've lived in. i'm disappointed with myself. diet and abstinence from alcohol have not been working these past few days. i am going to begin the new diet drug that all the buzz is about. i'm not gonna name it here; i don't want links to my blog through my mention of that drug. it'll force me to give up my vice of eating pizza. if one does not eat a super low-fat diet on that drug, one has things coming out of ones butt uncontrollably. i am grateful that i control when things come out of my butt, and i want to keep it that way.

my temp assignment is good! laid-back and easy. not too hard to get to. easier commute than the one to south street seaport; harder than the one to the music venue. eh, i'm not complaining, though! i am assisting a lawyer at this assignment. she is soooooo nice. she is very appreciative of all the help i give her. she says she used to be a paralegal, and she knows what it's like to do the stuff i'm doing, but i don't think that's the main reason why she's so nice. i think she's nice because she's just a nice person. she was probably born that way. i love nice people! i'm a nice person, and i appreciate it when others reciprocate that kindness!

the firefighter that i was shagging has contacted me again. i had not returned his e-mail a while back because he'd flaked on me a few times. well, this time, he happened to write to me during a particularly horny spell i'm having. i chewed him out about flaking on me and how shitty that is, and how i won't have any of that anymore. he apologized, explained away, begged and sweet-talked me, sent me a picture of himself with all of his big, juicy goods exposed. jesus, was he trying to kill me? well...maybe i'll see him again. he really has to be on his best behavior before i decide whether he gets to have some more of this.

no luck with apartments yet. don't know if i am going to get to live in friend-of-friend's apartment. met a woman who wanted to see if we'd make good roomies. i have the feeling that she thinks i'm weird...and maybe would not be 100% into being around someone with my personality. yeah, i am weird, but all in a good way. some people just don't get me. i feel in my gut that she's one of them. yeah, i don't think it will work out. so...i am thinking that i am having no luck with finding someone to share living space with, and maybe if i don't get this deal with the friend-of-a-friend, i'll just go ahead and look for a studio apartment. then i could get one that allowed pets and i could get a cat. :) yeah, fuck it. i'll just venture out on my own. i don't have time to find that elusive person i'll get along with. i need to find a place. i've never lived with a stranger before, probably because i knew how hard it would be to find a compatible roomie in a pool of unknown people. yeah, if f-of-f doesn't let me sublet, i'm soooo looking for a studio.