mary kommer i morgon
friends, friends, friends. my friend is coming up from georgia tomorrow. i haven't seen her since i graduated from college. she's pregnant. she's gonna get married. i cry when i think about it. i am meeting her at penn station. i am gonna cry when i see her. i'll probably cry at intervals as we hang out tomorrow! i have become a lot closer to her recently, ever since her mother died. i can't believe i am gonna see her. i feel like this is a part of my "saturn return": pruning my tree, getting rid of the excess "foliage" that is not needed or useful in my life anymore, and letting the important stuff have its full place in the sun. her friendship is part of the important stuff.
there's another friend that i am a lot closer to now. she lives here in new york, too. we weren't talking for four years cuz we were having problems. i was able to come into her life again recently. she accepted me. she loves me. the day i hung out with her for the first time in years was on her birthday in september (virgo!!!). i wanted to cry, seeing the way she really paid attention to what i said and looked me straight in the eyes. i had missed that so much, i realized. i had missed her true friendship, which is something that's so golden! she was one of those friends in college, like my friend in georgia, who taught me what it feels like to be respected and appreciated and cared about for who i really am.
i am upset that bonnie is moving. i understand it, though. she's had such a rough time of it here. she has gone through incredible hardships since moving here, and she is a very strong woman. but we strong women get tired of being strong, jumping through hoops, over obstacles. we just get fucking tired of it and want a break! she deserves to have such happiness in her life, and she's not finding it here. it might be the greatest city in the world, but it's not for everyone to actually LIVE in. chicago is much more affordable, but is still a vibrant, fascinating city (with a GREAT musical legacy!). i can't believe she's moving in only a month. we hardly ever see each other anyway cuz she works so much and we live so far away from each other and we're always so tired from trying to get by here. it fucking sucks. well, i just want her to be happy and to have the freedom to thrive much more than she's been able to do here. and sometimes i wonder what i'm doing here.
my dad got me new running shoes tonight. they're spiffy: white, silver, red and black asics. i have a chronic foot problem, plantar fasciitis, and i can't wear just any old shoe. i can't be picky about my dress shoes (i.e. if a leather shoe fits, i wear it). luckily, the asics that are best for me are vegan. yay! i have to wear orthotics. my foot is hurting a bit more with the new shoes, but i think it's because it has to get used to them. i also wanna put cushioned insoles in there, under the orthotics. i really appreciate him doing this. i know it's my christmas present, but i still really appreciate it.
my dad says i look healthier. he says my skin is glowing more, and has less acne. i can see that too. i just feel less gross! i look forward to seeing how much i've lost the next time i go to see mr. handsome doctor. :)
well, i should probably go to bed now. goodnight!
there's another friend that i am a lot closer to now. she lives here in new york, too. we weren't talking for four years cuz we were having problems. i was able to come into her life again recently. she accepted me. she loves me. the day i hung out with her for the first time in years was on her birthday in september (virgo!!!). i wanted to cry, seeing the way she really paid attention to what i said and looked me straight in the eyes. i had missed that so much, i realized. i had missed her true friendship, which is something that's so golden! she was one of those friends in college, like my friend in georgia, who taught me what it feels like to be respected and appreciated and cared about for who i really am.
i am upset that bonnie is moving. i understand it, though. she's had such a rough time of it here. she has gone through incredible hardships since moving here, and she is a very strong woman. but we strong women get tired of being strong, jumping through hoops, over obstacles. we just get fucking tired of it and want a break! she deserves to have such happiness in her life, and she's not finding it here. it might be the greatest city in the world, but it's not for everyone to actually LIVE in. chicago is much more affordable, but is still a vibrant, fascinating city (with a GREAT musical legacy!). i can't believe she's moving in only a month. we hardly ever see each other anyway cuz she works so much and we live so far away from each other and we're always so tired from trying to get by here. it fucking sucks. well, i just want her to be happy and to have the freedom to thrive much more than she's been able to do here. and sometimes i wonder what i'm doing here.
my dad got me new running shoes tonight. they're spiffy: white, silver, red and black asics. i have a chronic foot problem, plantar fasciitis, and i can't wear just any old shoe. i can't be picky about my dress shoes (i.e. if a leather shoe fits, i wear it). luckily, the asics that are best for me are vegan. yay! i have to wear orthotics. my foot is hurting a bit more with the new shoes, but i think it's because it has to get used to them. i also wanna put cushioned insoles in there, under the orthotics. i really appreciate him doing this. i know it's my christmas present, but i still really appreciate it.
my dad says i look healthier. he says my skin is glowing more, and has less acne. i can see that too. i just feel less gross! i look forward to seeing how much i've lost the next time i go to see mr. handsome doctor. :)
well, i should probably go to bed now. goodnight!
posted by Blåbär Björn at 23:44
1 Comments:
Yeah, that's how I feel about that other NY person, too. Her friendship is genuine; talking with her is real and non-fluffy. Sometimes, that's such a relief.
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